Fucking umpire. You'd get fired for this. I hate you!!!

Argghhhhhhhh, yes and my bad day gets worse. Bad things don't come alone... Haha

@(*&#$&#(*@!~*&(~!(*&!@*&#

... am back after some absence... other than 2 visits from yuan n cm on mon and thurs to play tennis, nothing much has happened. just been glued to my tv and computer... actually, i dun really mind. i remember times like this in sec 3 and 4... haha, chatting with other pple i didn't know personally over the net. i only knew they were tennis fanatics like me... :p

and i remembered it was cuz of that reason i flunked my common tests in sec 4, and end of year exams in sec 3. well, at least it drove me to do better during prelims. rite now, my motivation which was so thin to begin with is waning so bad. i dun feel like studying at all though i've so much to cover, so much to remember. and all tt just makes me feel like giving up without even trying. there are so many other things i wanna do, so much fun to experience. why am i stuck in school? sometimes, i really wonder what's the purpose in my life... why i have to endure school, stupid teachers and exams. what do i actually hope to achieve? i have no answer. its as if i've lived my life in vain, for no purpose at all.

i've just been thinking abt my life thus far... realised tt my most memorable moments are those spent w my friends and family... nothing to do w any achievements whatsoever... or maybe, i've just achieved nothing great enough yet...

1-3: err, i learnt to walk and talk? i dunno haha... :P

4-6: my sister was born, had fun playing with the baby... :) remember the times i spent w my grandparents, they were really great... i've always been terribly mischievious. i remember flooding the toilets, scattering talcum powder everywhere so it became slippery... haha, often got caned.

7-9: primary school! in py, i fought a lot... teacher told my parents and i got caned real bad once i remember. but tt time, ironically, i didn't fight, my specs just broke, but i really didn't fight. :p remembered i kissed my classmates hand to apologize to her, is quite amusing in retrospect... haha. but we were good friends, i wonder where she is now. in p3, someone plotted to overthrow the monitor, and i helped. we got caught... haha. oops. often, i'd not do my work my mum set and came up w many ways of cheating her... sighs, i've always been so lazy. then faced a tough decision, didn't know if i should join gep cuz i'd have to leave my friends. now tt i've experienced life there, i'm glad i did for the experience was just priceless.

10-12: thing those days, i was really happy. though the work was hard, it was challenging, and the people i met, they were all so different and unique. they all were so quirky and funny... remember all the silly things we'd do during lessons and piss teachers off (unintentionally), and games we'd play during recess. its a pity my best friends, save for 1 went to chinese high at the end of it all and we drifted. i miss u guys... also in P5, went to yr chalet, first time. remembered i was so annoyed i didn't get the stay over, but daryl and your dad talked my dad into it... u were as eloquent as always... ;) the next few years, though many things did happen, they were always thoroughly enjoyable... :) thanx..

13: just went into ri... this class was one of the best ever. i'd always remember it. would u agree yuan and yh? :p haha... both of u aren't gonna see this anything soon cuz of internet problems huh? ;) class was so spirited and we did so many things together, had so much fun together. sure there were disputes, but whenever crunch time came, we all stood together. remember the class chalet at the end of the year... was so sad tt we weren't gonna be in the same class the next year... 3rd lang was great. xx, mark and i used to have so much fun making jokes of our french teachers. man, we'd laugh and laugh till we had tears in our eyes... :p

14: was obsessed w pokemon card games... spent long afternoons at pple's places playing, or just a j8 buying and looking. played online too... and it proved to be the start of my demise. i was advised to drop french at the end of the year cuz i didn't really meet the criteria. well, it was only by a mark and i could've appealed, but i didn't. and maybe it was better or i'd have struggled even more the next year. and i remembered pissing off my french teacher - miss bulldog so bad. i locked her out once, and someone else did it a second time. she got so angry, she screamed and told us all to get out. she then scolded us outside along the corridor, and accused my of doing it. i didn't, and well, i shouted back and her and stuff. and she said, how there u have to audacity to speak to me like tt. hmmm, quite amusing, but i wasn't too pleased when she threatened to tell the school... haha. oh, and somehow cm and i started off on the wrong foot when we met each other then. he was somehow convinced i was a jinx and seemed to rat on everything i did. somehow, things changed after abt half a year...

15: think it was cm and yuan tt introduced me to tennis. soon yh became quite interested too. i became obsessed. i'd spent hours everyday reading article after article, and on the tennis board, which i'm back on. yeah... flunked my exams, didn't do work. and all this while, i've been hooked on computer games too. went to xx's house ever so often to escape band... haha, he'd know how i'd find new routes to run away and stuff. xx left tt year. still miss him, but i guess life still goes on... felt weird to have him gone, so weird... haha. but remembered tt the 5 of us used to sit together and we'd just not concentrate in class but laugh and talk so much. and well, tease each other, only person not to be the butt of jokes was yh. ha...

16: my obsessions continued. oh, cm, yuan and i played so many silly games during recesses. we invented so many idiotic games, and it was too funny. haha... :p other than tt, was glad the class did well during o's and showed the teachers they were wrong abt us... haha. had lotsa fun staying up late to watch slams... :p and slping in class after tt... haha

k, i shall not talk abt my jc life yet since there are too many things i shouldn't and wouldn't be talking abt, but, i feel better after thinking abt the more positive things in the first 16 years of my life... :)

having really been blogging cuz my days have just been the same... either tv, tennis, computer games, xbox, talking on the phone, surfing the net or going out... yes, i'll start studying really soon. tuesday.

anyway, now tt my little babe is asleep (i hope), i guess i shall blog... today and yesterday, i sort of realised something. all of my friends around all have problems, whether its big or small, they all have problems. yeah, i listen and try to help... but sometimes, i wonder if i'm even helpful... sometimes, u feel like u know what's best for them, but then, u have doubts. and u end up not giving them so advice which u intend to. and it just makes me wonder sometimes, what should i do?? and it sucked tt tonite, i was trying to help a few pple at once, and i dun think i managed to achieve anything. damn it.

i've decided from my friends' experiences tt love in jc... haha, it exists and works out... but much more often then not, it results in hurt and sorrow. but somehow, when pple get bitten by the love bug, they become rash and irrational, and do all sorts of things they would advice their friends not to do. and dun try to tell me otherwise, cuz u are.

i'm not having the best holidays of my life... but so far, everythings been fine after SATS. i've got a chance to do many things i wanted, talked with pple i wanted to, caught up with some friends and stuff, so i'm content in a way... but really, i wanna make things better for them... and i wish i knew how to. sighs...

the things i used to think of, and hope for as a child, a teenager... my dreams, they are so difficult to attain. and everyday, i seem to be further and further away from them. some of the things i do, they bring me further away from them. but at least, i know i'm doing them in the interests of others, and my conscience is clear... :)

past 2 days have been great...! went shopping w nick on tues... walked round most of orchard. haha, i bought so many things i was almost feeling guilty... ;) but then, everything was on discount, so... :P This quiksilver shirt tt cost 55 was on 50% off cuz tt was the last piece, and i had been eyeing, so i was quick to grab it. haha, luckily i spotted it. and there were various other items on sale, pants and more shirts. so i guess in a way, its saving money? ;) haha... also bought Ninja Gaiden. cool game, but darn difficult. i keep dying, and its so frustrating to die... :( haha...

nick stayed over, and we just played so many com games... haha, RON, Halo, Topspin, Ninja Gaiden... u get the idea... ;) of course tt went at the expense of slp... ;)

ah, i wish i could just freeze my life at times like these, stay during hols forever... then i wun have to worry abt studying, and not abt having to work and pay bills in the future. life would be quite carefree. haha, but yeah, its just a silly dream... :P

yay, sats are over... yup. dunno if i did well, i hope i did. would be so distraught if i flunk again... haha.

anyway, its been fun after tt day... saturday, went over to cini to watch potter. we could have had a 4M gathering there... haha, nick, zp, yihan, cm, renyu, matthew, weiming, jian wei and somemore pple i can't remember. the movie was great... but tt's cuz i couldn't really remember the book unlike some pple who did and were complaining... ;) haha... went shopping after tt, and it was quite fun. bought some tennis shoes! :P didn't really buy anything else cuz i'm just trying to decide how best to spend my money... ;)

anyhow, sunday was great too. under the hot sun, we played tennis. gosh, i got so burnt. played a damn long and tiring match against yihan and we were so red after tt... :P haha, we were so tired after tt, yihan quit his match against cm, and i lost after having a 4-0 lead... :P

xq bt yh 7-6(5)
cm bt yh 3-2 ret.
cm bt cm 6-4

ahh well... match against yihan was darn close... he was leading 5-3... and then our match became a clay court match. with all the silly moonballs and stuff... :$ after lunch, had fun with cluedo, monopoly, german bridge and xbox... monopoly was so silly! yh had like a property of every color, and until he made the silly trade of his, he was the winner for sure... hurhur. they left when they realised the finals of roland garros had started... :P

arghhh, was so sad coria lost. he was up by so much, if only he didn't get cramps, there was no way in the world he would have lost la. poorthing, he looked so darn sad after tt. he's really a breath taking player. i hope he wins next year... :(

today had stupid NS medical checkup. it was shitty. wait and wait and wait the whole day. and it was so sucky tt i have to go back cuz they close at 5 and i hadn't done the stupid amplitude test. :rolleyes: whatever.

but i had lotsa fun playing warcraft w nick n zp today... miss doing tt lots... :( hope we get to play a lot more again... :)

sighs, the sianess of mugging for SATS during the first week of the hols is really getting to me. quite tired and annoyed now. can't mug anymore... haven't been. just hope i dun screw up like b4. i'd be so sad if tt happens.

anyway, this has been quite fun... Puzzles... can try it if you're bored... :)

and it doesn't help tt everytime there's an exam, there's a tennis major on tv... last week and this week was Roland Garros (French Open) and the week before and during common tests, we've Wimbledon, and the weeks before prelims, US Open. It was like tt last year, sec 4... sighs... it sucks. always end up watching too much tv and not studying... and well, with dire consequences... :(

hmmmm, when things just keep sinking what do you do? haha, i guess sometimes there's nothing to do but to accept them rite? :)

so much has been happening, and i can't really put them down to vent. feels horrible sometimes. really.

ah well, another day passes, and soon, sats will be over, and then everything else will be over too... however its done, whatever i do, time will pass. i guess tt's good... :)

everytime this happens, no matter how annoyed, upset i was in the beginning, i always end up feeling guilty and at fault in the end. haha, u win... i surrender.

firstly, i must say this: Coria is a god. His dropshots are so amazing, i swear tt it seems impossible they always go across the net.

anyway, my SATs preparation is horrid. i'm like totally screwed. i can't seem to cramp all those words down my head. it just gets saturated all so quickly. sighs... tired to mug today with christelle at wheelock's place. i did get so stuff in, but i tire so fast... sighs. very interesting to just sit there and observe the pple around... they all have their little idiosyncracies... haha. saw yang qi and zhao yang there mugging for econs? it seems a little early to start preparing for common tests rite? ;) haha. just trying to console myself here... :p

tried to buy tickets for harry potter, and boy the queue was so long at lido, i just gave up and went home... :p

and k, most of you wun know what i'm talking abt, but i've returned to the tennis forum to post. my hard earned Top 10 position in the 'Most number of Posts' category has declined to something like 58th after 1.5 years of inactivity as some pple on the board reminded me. haha, well, at least they make me feel missed when they all suddenly msged me and asked me where i've been... so i kinda feel happy... :p and everyone still remembers my prowess at PAW! haha, shall make my return at Wimby... and be triumphant? ;)

yesterday was stupid. can't believe amelie, venus and serena all lost on the same day. thank god coria won, or i'll just be so pissed i wun watch roland garros anymore. arghhh.